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| Happy baby pose |
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Eat your left foot . . .
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| . . . and then your right! |
22 August 2011
21 August 2011
Shiver my timbers, the pirate ship is finally finished
After weeks and weeks of watching the workers slowly build our neighbourhood's newest feature (and listening to Elliot yell "take the fence down" whenever we drove by), the pirate ship playground was finally completed. It was a bit of a mad rush those first few days, but what an amazing playground it is. There are hidden treasures, and a plank to leap off of, and even a kid-powered-music-making machine. Now if it would just stop raining so we could play on it again!
20 August 2011
Face-plant
I was so excited about the new pirate ship, I dove right in!!!
(And Mom, laughing her bum off, had the nerve to take a photo instead of helping me get the sand out of my mouth! How rude!) ~ Elliot
18 August 2011
17 August 2011
16 August 2011
Musings on Mommyhood
I wrote the paragraphs below back in June of 2009 and just now found it tucked away in my unpublished drafts. I guess I never had the nerve to post it. Now, two years and another baby later, it's fun to look back and remember just how overwhelming it was adjusting to my new role as a mom. Many of the feelings are still fresh in my mind, and I have a long list of other things I've struggled/struggle with as a mom (like how annoying it is that it takes forever to actually get out the door every time we want to do something, or how Elliot can crush me with a single unkind word), but now that I'm chasing after two little guys, I just don't have the time to stew over it, let alone write it down.
It seemed fitting to post my thoughts/feelings on being a new mom on my first Mother's Day. The fact that this just didn't get done, however, might be even more fitting since one of my first lessons in motherhood was to learn to let go of control, plans and any semblance of a routine. (These books that say that routine is everything with babies were obviously written by someone who has not actually had any kids.) I can assure you that this hasn't been easy for this control freak, but I'm learning to embrace "just rolling with it" and even enjoy it (some of the time).
I have noticed other positive changes about myself over my first four months of being a mommy too. For example, I've become much more assertive and able to ask for what I need (especially when it comes to Elliot) than I ever used to be. I'm not sure if this is a hormonal thing or a tiredness thing or what, but I really like it.
I also like that I'm much more forgiving of myself and don't beat myself up over every little thing that goes wrong (as much anyway). I can't help but think that all of these changes must be intended for the survival of the species. If new moms didn't learn to be more flexible, patient and nurturing with themselves they'd surely go insane. I also reckon there'd be many more only children.
But mommyhood ain't all pretty. In fact, it's the not-so-great things about being a new mom that were so blaringly obvious at first and so easy to rant about now that things are starting to look up a bit.
Breastfeeding: Holy cow! Breastfeeding is hard and so very frustrating! Things started out pretty horribly on the boob front with Elliot so sleepy and not interested at all in feeding (now we know this was because he was sick) and my milk less than plentiful. After eight weeks of me taking medicine to increase my milk supply, trying different nipple shields in the hope of enticing little Elliot's sucker, and pumping for hours on end and still only eking out less than a quarter of the amount of liquid gold that Elliot needed, I threw in the towel. It was such a difficult decision to make; I know that breastfeeding is best for little bubs, but I just couldn't continue the way I was going. I felt so inadequate and had begun to resent Elliot when I was pumping and he became fussy. It was as if I expected him to realize the sacrifice my cracked and blistered nipples were making as they were being sucked repeatedly into the horrible plastic funnels and should not expect anything more from me. Pretty unrealistic, I know. What's strange is that even though I know that deciding to give up on breastfeeding was the right decision for Elliot and me, I still feel guilty about not being able to do it. There's such a lot of pressure put on new moms.
Feeling inadequate and supremely unqualified for the job: I know that most moms can relate to this and for those of you, like me, who find it extremely uncomfortable to not feel capable, this period of mommyhood is excruciating. I kept reading books about how I should be learning to pick up his cues and begin to decipher the meaning of his cries, but I didn't know. He'd cry and cry and cry and I just couldn't figure out what was wrong. It broke my heart and I didn't know what to do and I didn't like it one bit. You can imagine how relieved (and guilty--for not working it out earlier) I felt when we changed his formula and at last he seemed so much less agonized. I'm so thankful that now, at last, I seem to be able to read his needs and know when he's tired or hungry or just wanting a bit of attention.
Saying good-bye to having any time to myself: I know it sounds extremely naive, but I honestly never realised how incredibly draining it would be to have someone with me 24/7 who depended on me to meet his every need. The fact is, taking a long shower or even a poo in peace are now things of the past. I am hopeful of being able to experience these things again one day years from now, but for now, my needs (even the most basic ones) are secondary. Accepting that my life (for the next five years at least) is likely to consist of many cold dinners, ponytails (because bedhead can be quickly disguised this way), and days without showers hasn't been easy, but Elliot's gorgeous toothless grins do make it a bit easier.
So there it is finally written down, the good and the bad, my musings on becoming a mom. I know that things won't always be easy, but I'm so glad I made it through those first few months. And I don't regret a minute of it.
It seemed fitting to post my thoughts/feelings on being a new mom on my first Mother's Day. The fact that this just didn't get done, however, might be even more fitting since one of my first lessons in motherhood was to learn to let go of control, plans and any semblance of a routine. (These books that say that routine is everything with babies were obviously written by someone who has not actually had any kids.) I can assure you that this hasn't been easy for this control freak, but I'm learning to embrace "just rolling with it" and even enjoy it (some of the time).
I have noticed other positive changes about myself over my first four months of being a mommy too. For example, I've become much more assertive and able to ask for what I need (especially when it comes to Elliot) than I ever used to be. I'm not sure if this is a hormonal thing or a tiredness thing or what, but I really like it.
I also like that I'm much more forgiving of myself and don't beat myself up over every little thing that goes wrong (as much anyway). I can't help but think that all of these changes must be intended for the survival of the species. If new moms didn't learn to be more flexible, patient and nurturing with themselves they'd surely go insane. I also reckon there'd be many more only children.
But mommyhood ain't all pretty. In fact, it's the not-so-great things about being a new mom that were so blaringly obvious at first and so easy to rant about now that things are starting to look up a bit.
Breastfeeding: Holy cow! Breastfeeding is hard and so very frustrating! Things started out pretty horribly on the boob front with Elliot so sleepy and not interested at all in feeding (now we know this was because he was sick) and my milk less than plentiful. After eight weeks of me taking medicine to increase my milk supply, trying different nipple shields in the hope of enticing little Elliot's sucker, and pumping for hours on end and still only eking out less than a quarter of the amount of liquid gold that Elliot needed, I threw in the towel. It was such a difficult decision to make; I know that breastfeeding is best for little bubs, but I just couldn't continue the way I was going. I felt so inadequate and had begun to resent Elliot when I was pumping and he became fussy. It was as if I expected him to realize the sacrifice my cracked and blistered nipples were making as they were being sucked repeatedly into the horrible plastic funnels and should not expect anything more from me. Pretty unrealistic, I know. What's strange is that even though I know that deciding to give up on breastfeeding was the right decision for Elliot and me, I still feel guilty about not being able to do it. There's such a lot of pressure put on new moms.
Feeling inadequate and supremely unqualified for the job: I know that most moms can relate to this and for those of you, like me, who find it extremely uncomfortable to not feel capable, this period of mommyhood is excruciating. I kept reading books about how I should be learning to pick up his cues and begin to decipher the meaning of his cries, but I didn't know. He'd cry and cry and cry and I just couldn't figure out what was wrong. It broke my heart and I didn't know what to do and I didn't like it one bit. You can imagine how relieved (and guilty--for not working it out earlier) I felt when we changed his formula and at last he seemed so much less agonized. I'm so thankful that now, at last, I seem to be able to read his needs and know when he's tired or hungry or just wanting a bit of attention.
Saying good-bye to having any time to myself: I know it sounds extremely naive, but I honestly never realised how incredibly draining it would be to have someone with me 24/7 who depended on me to meet his every need. The fact is, taking a long shower or even a poo in peace are now things of the past. I am hopeful of being able to experience these things again one day years from now, but for now, my needs (even the most basic ones) are secondary. Accepting that my life (for the next five years at least) is likely to consist of many cold dinners, ponytails (because bedhead can be quickly disguised this way), and days without showers hasn't been easy, but Elliot's gorgeous toothless grins do make it a bit easier.
So there it is finally written down, the good and the bad, my musings on becoming a mom. I know that things won't always be easy, but I'm so glad I made it through those first few months. And I don't regret a minute of it.
15 August 2011
I just thought we were through with doctors
Early in August, Elliot went for another of his regular development checks with his meningitis doctor. However this one turned out to be quite an emotional visit.
The appointment started like they all do: Dr. Kennedy asks me what sorts of things Elliot has been up to, and I brag like a proud mama about all the wonderful things he is doing and capable of. Then Dr. Kennedy asks me if I'm worried about anything that he's not doing that I've noticed other kids his age doing and I say "nope!" Then Dr. Kennedy usually says "Great to see that everything's on track with him. See you in x number of months".
Only this time he says, "Well, as sad as it is to not have our regular visits, I really can't see any reason for you guys to continue to come and see me. Elliot seems to be developing completely normally." And then he adds (and this is the emotional bit) "I can tell you now that we weren't so sure that things would turn out so well. Elliot was a very sick little baby and he'll always be special to us."
I expressed my overwhelming gratitude to him and all the wonderful hospital staff that took such good care of our little guy and we said our good-byes and cheerfully left his office for the last time.
And then I got to the car, and it hit me. And I teared up and tried really hard not to completely lose it.
It's really over. That whole agonizing chapter in Elliot's life is behind us. And what's more we dodged such a bullet. Kids as young as Elliot was just don't get meningitis and recover unscathed, but he did! Grateful, just doesn't begin to describe the rush of emotions that were swelling in my heart. Relief. Joy. Luck. Thank. You.
And then here's the ironic twist (and this isn't to take away from any of those feelings, just goes to show how you've got to have a great sense of humour if you're gonna make it in this life):
The next week Oliver starts getting quite grizzly and goes off his food and is waking up more than normal in the night. I take him to the doctors to get him checked and by this time, he's got quite a high fever and is really lethargic. So much in fact, that the doctor tells me that I need to take him straight to the ER to get him tested. On the referral letter she wrote for me to take to the hospital, I read "Check for meningitis?" Seriously?!?!? I absolutely lost it. The receptionist at the doctor had to call Paul to have him meet me at the hospital because I was such a wreck. I just couldn't go through that all again. Nobody has TWO babies that get meningitis!!!
Long story short, Oliver did not have meningitis. Only a bad case of tonsillitis and an ear infection. He went back on antibiotics (quite strong ones that gave him explosive, my-god-how-did it-shoot-all-the-way-up-his-back-and-up-to-his-belly-button-too diarrhea!) and started feeling better in a couple of days.
And Elliot, who wasn't too keen on the fact that Oliver was getting extra attention and got to take medicine three times a day, had the last laugh. After swimming a few days later, Paul asks Elliot if he wants to go to the park or to their regular trip to McDonald's for apples and English muffins. "Nope," he says "want to go to pharmacy for medicine!"
You've got to be kidding me! I've never known any kid to love medicine and doctors as much as he. And we were afraid that all the time in the hospital might scar him for life . . . and where in the heck did he learn the word 'pharmacy'????
The appointment started like they all do: Dr. Kennedy asks me what sorts of things Elliot has been up to, and I brag like a proud mama about all the wonderful things he is doing and capable of. Then Dr. Kennedy asks me if I'm worried about anything that he's not doing that I've noticed other kids his age doing and I say "nope!" Then Dr. Kennedy usually says "Great to see that everything's on track with him. See you in x number of months".
Only this time he says, "Well, as sad as it is to not have our regular visits, I really can't see any reason for you guys to continue to come and see me. Elliot seems to be developing completely normally." And then he adds (and this is the emotional bit) "I can tell you now that we weren't so sure that things would turn out so well. Elliot was a very sick little baby and he'll always be special to us."
I expressed my overwhelming gratitude to him and all the wonderful hospital staff that took such good care of our little guy and we said our good-byes and cheerfully left his office for the last time.
And then I got to the car, and it hit me. And I teared up and tried really hard not to completely lose it.
It's really over. That whole agonizing chapter in Elliot's life is behind us. And what's more we dodged such a bullet. Kids as young as Elliot was just don't get meningitis and recover unscathed, but he did! Grateful, just doesn't begin to describe the rush of emotions that were swelling in my heart. Relief. Joy. Luck. Thank. You.
And then here's the ironic twist (and this isn't to take away from any of those feelings, just goes to show how you've got to have a great sense of humour if you're gonna make it in this life):
The next week Oliver starts getting quite grizzly and goes off his food and is waking up more than normal in the night. I take him to the doctors to get him checked and by this time, he's got quite a high fever and is really lethargic. So much in fact, that the doctor tells me that I need to take him straight to the ER to get him tested. On the referral letter she wrote for me to take to the hospital, I read "Check for meningitis?" Seriously?!?!? I absolutely lost it. The receptionist at the doctor had to call Paul to have him meet me at the hospital because I was such a wreck. I just couldn't go through that all again. Nobody has TWO babies that get meningitis!!!
Long story short, Oliver did not have meningitis. Only a bad case of tonsillitis and an ear infection. He went back on antibiotics (quite strong ones that gave him explosive, my-god-how-did it-shoot-all-the-way-up-his-back-and-up-to-his-belly-button-too diarrhea!) and started feeling better in a couple of days.
And Elliot, who wasn't too keen on the fact that Oliver was getting extra attention and got to take medicine three times a day, had the last laugh. After swimming a few days later, Paul asks Elliot if he wants to go to the park or to their regular trip to McDonald's for apples and English muffins. "Nope," he says "want to go to pharmacy for medicine!"
You've got to be kidding me! I've never known any kid to love medicine and doctors as much as he. And we were afraid that all the time in the hospital might scar him for life . . . and where in the heck did he learn the word 'pharmacy'????
07 August 2011
Six trips to the doctor and an ER visit
You've got to love weeks like our last two. Oliver had his first ear infection, Elliot has an ear and chest infection again (he just got off antibiotics three weeks ago), I'm on antibiotics for a sinus infection, and Paul's been home sick with a really nasty lingering virus. To top it off, it's been raining buckets for days and days so we've all been trapped inside being miserable with each other.
And as if things weren't fun enough, Elliot decided to do a parlour trick and fell face first from the back of the couch onto the coffee table catching the edge of it right between the eyes. It definitely wasn't pretty--it hurt me just to look at him--but the doc at the ER said it was nothing to worry about since he didn't lose consciousness and wasn't acting any loopier than normal. Doc said we just needed to try to keep him calm for the day . . . um, he definitely doesn't know our Elliot.
Here's a looksy at the little terror:
And as if things weren't fun enough, Elliot decided to do a parlour trick and fell face first from the back of the couch onto the coffee table catching the edge of it right between the eyes. It definitely wasn't pretty--it hurt me just to look at him--but the doc at the ER said it was nothing to worry about since he didn't lose consciousness and wasn't acting any loopier than normal. Doc said we just needed to try to keep him calm for the day . . . um, he definitely doesn't know our Elliot.
Here's a looksy at the little terror:
You're never too young to start earning your keep
And that's why I've recruited Oliver to assist me on my new paper route! Now, it's not quite my dream of being a mail carrier or anything, but Ollie and I deliver 200 newspapers around the neighbourhood every Thursday. The money's not great, but it motivates me to get out of the house and get some exercise.
Definitely time for a haircut!
When your mom starts styling your do into all sorts of silliness, you know it's definitely time for a haircut! ~ Oliver
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| The Combover |
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| The Vampire |
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| The Beaker (as in from the Muppets) |
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| The new do . . . Darn I look good! |
My boys, the models!
Now as you've probably worked out, I happen to think that my boys are quite handsome. Of course I do, I'm their mom. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to throw them into the limelight and become a stage mom or anything. However, when I was approached by a professional photographer* and begged to allow her to take some portraits of my boys for her website**, how could I say 'no'? Here are some of my favourites:
* friend of Paul's dad and Liz who has sold one photo
** facebook page
* friend of Paul's dad and Liz who has sold one photo
** facebook page
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