Elliot's Birth Story

And now that we're finished with hospitals and doctors, I finally have time to tell you all about the magical day that you were born.

I guess things really got started on Wednesday (even though you weren’t actually born until Friday) when your dad and I had a bunch of things going on to prepare for your birth. I finally went in and got that pregnancy massage I had been dreaming about. It was on one of those beds with a hole cut-out to make room for you and my tummy and it was absolute heaven!! That evening your dad picked up our new car especially purchased just for you (Dad wanted a safer car for you and a station wagon so I wouldn’t have to try and squeeze a bulky stroller into the trunk—it’s a red Subaru Outback and I just love it!) and I went out to yummy Thai dinner with folks from my work. All in all this was a very busy day for me as pregnant as I was, and I don’t know if it was the massage or the spicy food or what, but something must have gotten things started because the next morning I woke up in a bit of a puddle (luckily I got a strange whim to put a mattress cover on the bed that night).

I wasn’t sure what to think as this was over two weeks before your due date and it wasn’t a massive puddle or anything. Nevertheless I decided to call up the midwives at Galliers before heading out to brekkie with Nikki and Sam. Since I wasn’t continuing to leak, the midwives advised me to keep an eye on things and let them know of any changes but otherwise carry on with my day and so I did.

Early in the afternoon, I began leaking more water and was a bit more convinced that you were on your way. Coincidentally, I already had a scheduled appointment with Dr. White to get to know him before your birth (the doctor we’d been seeing was on holiday in Japan) and when I spoke to the midwives again that afternoon they advised me to go ahead with that appointment and then head to the hospital so that they could check you out to be sure all was okay.I started having contractions in the doctor’s waiting room and I looked like a real goober walking around with my hands on my lower back and kneeling on the sofa, but I just couldn’t get comfortable and I was really excited that you were definitely on your way. We met with Dr. White who agreed to let us wait until the morning to induce labor if it hadn’t started on its own by then. I was really scared to be induced because I had heard that it made contractions so much more intense and could rush the birth before you and I were really ready for it so I started planning everything I could do that night to help bring labor on.

At the hospital, the midwives strapped a fetal monitor around my tummy so that they could monitor my contractions and your heartbeat and stuff. You were doing fabulously and I had several weak contractions while being monitored so we were feeling very positive that things were well on their way.

Back at home, your Dad and I took a couple of walks to try to encourage things along. I also spent some time on my fit ball and drank lots and lots of raspberry leaf tea. We called Kirsten over to see if she had any other ideas and to talk about our birth plan. And your nana stopped by with some goodies for me to eat while I was in labor with you.By ten o’clock I still wasn’t having any regular contractions and starting to feel pretty desperate. That’s when I decided to drink some castor oil and I still can’t figure out if I think this was a good idea or not. It definitely wasn’t fun that night! I was up all night with horrible stomach cramps and sitting on the toilet with some of the most violent diarrhea that I’ve ever experienced. Not pretty, I assure you. But on the plus side, the diarrhea cleaned me out so thoroughly that there was nothing left in me to accidentally push out during your birth. So you can thank the castor oil for not getting any poo on you during your grand entrance.

True to our word, your dad and I headed back to the hospital at seven the next morning and I was really disappointed that I still hadn’t started full blown labor. I really didn’t want to be induced. The midwives put the fetal monitor back on my tummy and checked you out again. Once again you were doing fantastically. Then Dr. White checked out my cervix and found that I was two centimeters dilated and since I was progressing (albeit slowly) he decided to let us go home again and see if things didn’t get moving along a little faster before noon.

Once again we went home and did what we could to encourage contractions, we took walks and relaxed and imagined you entering the world. I continued to have weak contractions but not the regular strong ones we were hoping for. So once again we returned to the hospital dreading the now inevitable I word.

After some hiccups with getting an IV in and working, I was induced at about 1 in the afternoon. Immediately, I began having stronger contractions and I was a little bit afraid of how painful they were already. Over the next couple of hours, I tried to do the things that we had planned to make me more comfortable: listening to music, relaxation techniques like breathing and visualizing you coming into the world, moving around into different positions, and getting into the shower so that the hot water could run over my lower back, but things were a bit more intense than I had expected. In the end, I found a comfortable position on my side on the bed and there I stayed for hours as the contractions became more frequent and more intense.

This is where things get a bit fuzzy and where your dad’s idea of what happened differs a bit from what I remember. According to your dad, I did very well during labor and the birth, crying out a bit during the contractions once they really got going and when it was finally time to start pushing. He also said that I said some really funny stuff. Like when I was pushing and it felt like you were taking one step forward and two steps back for what seemed like forever, I supposedly cried out “This is a design flaw, it shouldn’t be this hard.” He really liked that one. Otherwise your dad said that I was really really calm between contractions and wasn’t really all that mean at all to everyone in the room.

My recollections are a bit different and I won’t freak you out with everything that was going through my head, but basically it was much harder than I had expected. The contractions came on quite hard and fast because of the medicine they gave me to get labor going, and they really took me by surprise. I remember feeling like quite the baby, crying and hollering like a water buffalo and saying I couldn’t do it anymore and begging for something to take away the pain. Usually all it took was your dad telling me that I didn’t want any drugs because I didn’t want them to affect you, and I would put that idea out of my mind for a little while at least. I also remember not liking the midwife and continually telling her to quit touching me. Your dad said I always said please and apologized to her (or anyone else I might have snapped at) as soon as the contraction was over.

I also know that I was really happy when our doula Kirsten arrived after about four hours of labor. She was great; your dad could have a bit of a break and besides she just seemed to pick up right away what I did and didn’t like (unlike the midwife). For instance, I didn’t want to be rubbed or stroked or patronized. I also really didn’t like to be talked about as if I wasn’t there, but the midwife just never seemed to get this. Kirsten and your dad took turns holding my hand and putting the heating pack on my lower back and telling me that I was doing really well and that you’d be here before the end of the day. I really liked all of those things especially knowing that I’d finally be meeting you really soon.

Around 6 in the evening, it came time to start pushing. I can’t remember if it was before this time or not but somewhere around this point I started to inhale some laughing gas to take the edge off of things. At first I thought the gas was disgusting and it made me a bit nauseous, but before long I really took to the stuff and was sucking it in hard during every contraction. I ended up pushing for about two and a half hours and can remember that the midwife kept telling me to push through my bottom which is a funny thing to say but was also quite helpful because in a lot of ways it really felt like I was pushing out a really big poo. I know, not exactly what you’d like to be compared to, but I can’t lie, that’s what it felt like.

Just when I thought that I wasn’t going to be able to push anymore, Kirsten and the midwife told me that they could see your head. I can’t tell you how relieved and revitalized that made me. I wanted to see you so badly. With every contraction I’d push as hard as I could, and they’d see a bit more of your head and then as if you’d decided you weren’t quite ready for all of this, you’d slide back in. Honestly, it was a bit discouraging. Finally, at 8.46pm with one giant push, your head came all the way out with one hand up by your face (just like you always had on the ultrasound). Then after a bit of a rest while the doctor moved the umbilical cord which had gotten a bit tangled up somewhere, I did another giant push and swoosh the rest of you came into the world.

The midwife passed you through my legs (I was on my hands and knees at that point) and I remember trying to hold you and look at you and turn myself over while your dad cut the cord all at the same time. Just then the doctor noticed that you were a bit off color and snatched you away from me. Your dad was so protective of you and me, that he stood up to the doctor and said that I wanted time with you before they did all that doctor stuff. What we hadn’t noticed in all the kafuffle is that you weren’t breathing very well. But not to worry the doctor put a little oxygen mask on you and when they gave you your vitamin K injection you started screaming loud and clear.

Usually it’s at this point when moms, dads and babies sit around gazing at each other all loveydoveylike. And don’t your worry we did do some of that, but not nearly enough if you ask me. There was bit of problem with my placenta and it decided it was not going to do the nice thing and slide on out during the afterbirth contractions. No sirree, it decided to hang on tight inside my uterus. What this meant for me is that dad got to hold you while I pushed and pushed for an hour more trying to birth the placenta. All the while the doctor had the umbilical cord wrapped around his hand and he was pulling with all his might with each contraction. All of this was to no avail, and after an hour I had to leave you and your dad as they wheeled me away to surgery to have my placenta removed.

What I remember distinctly about this was suddenly feeling very naked and self-conscious (although I was just as naked when I was giving birth to you and it never crossed my mind—guess I had more important things on my mind then). I also remember having a bit of a chuckle to myself that I would need an epidural (a shot in your back that makes your legs and tummy go numb) now after swearing up and down that I wasn’t going to get one. The epidural made my body feel all warm and fuzzy and quite nice actually which was good because I think it would have been quite painful for me when the doctor put his hand up into my uterus to scrape out the placenta.

About 1 in the morning, I was wheeled back to our room and helped into bed where you and your dad were waiting and finally we got to have our family cuddle. You were so alert and kept staring at your dad and I as if you were thinking, “Aha, so you two were the ones I heard talking to me all the time.” I just couldn’t get over how tiny and beautiful you were. You had so much hair and looked just like your dad. Mostly I just remember feeling both a little overwhelmed and extremely happy that you were finally out in the world and in my arms at last.